Hold you

Ben is very interested in growing lately. He wants to know how much he is growing. How tall he is getting. He wants to know when he will be tall like Daddy, and be able to ride the rides at the "park". (that question stems from going to Florida theme parks lasts summer)

Ben will take a drink of milk or eat broccoli, only to announce, "I am growing every day!"

And he is.

He is growing so tall and lean. He is growing so smart and kind.

This momma is watching the time move quickly. I'm starting to really notice how short a day can be. How many moments might be missed because "We're in a hurry buddy." or "Not right now, I'm washing the dishes."

It's a fact of life. There will never be enough minutes to sit on the floor and play dragons and knights with my boy. If I sat there for a thousand years, it would not be long enough. I can count to 20 while Ben hides a million times, and yet in my soul I know that when he no longer wants me to count, I will have wished I counted it out just one more time.

The other night as I put him to bed, he asked me to sing him a "Ben song." This is simply my shortened version of the Dixie Chicks song "Godspeed", but to him, it is his, and I will not correct him. So I sang it. I gently brushed my hand on his back, and felt his breathing deepen as I softly sang the Ben song. And even after he was sleeping steadily, I sat there and added another chorus. Then another. Because I realized that one night when I go to put him in bed, he will not ask me to sing him a Ben song. He will not ask me to pull the sheets tight around him, or leave the door open, or give him just one more kiss. Someday, he won't sleep in my house at all.

I try everyday to make an effort to not miss the little things. To not get so caught up in the chores that I forget to play. It's incredibly hard to balance. There is always so much to do, and so many needs to fill. Some days I do pretty well. Other's....I fail miserably.

Those are the days that I'm thankful for tomorrow. For another chance to enjoy my young children. Even though tomorrow means another day gone and more time passed.

As I drove Ben to school one day last week, he was talking about growing taller again.

"Mommy, I am growing every day."

"Yes, you are."

"Yeah. And I'm going to be really really tall, like Daddy."

"Do you think so? Do you think you are going to be taller than me?"

"Yes Mommy. I'll grow very tall. Then I can hold you."

There are no words.

I'll love you forever Ben Burrow.